My name is Rick, and I’m an HGH addict.
Well, maybe not an addict, but for the last 8 years, I’ve been juicing with Human Growth Hormone, and I’ve come forward today to tell the American public that they can lick my ass clean over the whole matter if it bothers them even for a split second.
I was just watching the foolishness that’s once again infected the minds of our US House of Representatives, as Roger Clemens faced the accusations of one of the slimiest looking bottom feeders I’ve seen since….well……since the last time the House hosted one of these pathetic attempts at “getting to the truth” about what is really nobody’s damn business other than that of the game of baseball, the owners, the player’s union, and the fans of the game.
Roger Clemens is a legendary pitcher, and there’s no denying that fact. Since 1986, when he and the Red Sox ran the gauntlet tostar inone of the most infamous World Seriesdebacles of all time, Clemens has dominated the profession of throwing a baseball at a guy with a bat, in a way that no one else has since Cy Young was Cy Young and earned the honor of having the top award for major league pitching named in his honor. Anyone can say anything they want to about the man himself – that he’s a princess, that he’s rude and hostile, that he’s not a team player, that it’s time he trieda new haircut instead of that fuller brush deal he’s been rocking since way too long – but what they can’t say about him is that he hasn’t been the real deal on the mound and in the ball park. They can’t say that about him and still be telling the truth when they do.
Now, as far as his use (or non-use) of HGH, that – in my view – isn’t even part of the equation.
Please, let me explain my reason for seeing things this way, and what my qualifications are for possibly seeing all of this from a more learned perspective than your average hysterical soccer mom or bloated bureaucrat who’s scared to death of losing that hysterical soccer mom’s vote.
Like I said, I take the stuff. Every day. Three sublingual sprays in the morning, and three again as I turn out the light to go to sleep. This is the HGH product that I use. Ever Young GH 2000 I don’t buy it from these fine folks, but it’s the same exact product, and I’ve been taking this brand – in its various corporate configurations since the fall of 1999, when it was the sole offering of a company called Eden Corporation.
Back then, it was called GH-1, and sold for twice the amount it costs today. I even retailed it to friends and family members for a while to offset the price of it, but then, when the manufacturerdiscovered that they only needed half the amount of polymer base to make the enormous molecule absorbable by the capillaries of the mucosa, the price dropped impressively, and I was able to stop pushing this evil just to be able to pay for it. You see, it’s the polymer that is the expensive part of this stuff. The molecule itself has been around since the late 70’s, and has passed nearly 3,000trials and studies with flying colors – which is a hell of a lot more than anyone can say about those cholesterol drugs we’ve been reading aboutlately. (see “Is Vytorin a Failure?” – Time for details)
Now I get it as a product called GH2000 (see link above) and it’s the same company making it, with the same patented polymer base that “injects” it into the mucosa under your tongue, and I pay half the price of what it cost when I firstdiscovered it during the heady days of the ClintonAdministration.
So, why is Roger Clemens’ ass being char-broiled in the nation’s capital today overthe possibility that he’s been taking the same legal FDA approved stuff that I’ve been taking for years?
That’s what I want to know too.
And who on earth thinks that HGH is something that you inject into yourself (or someone else) only once or twice a season – or even once or twice a week. HGH doesn’t do anything for you if you don’t use it twice a day, and you have to stay with it, onan ongoing basis, for at least 6 months before you feel any of its fairly subtle effects.
Okay, so I’m not ramming the stuff into my veins here, so I thought that maybe I’m confusing the innocent grandma and grandpa stuff that I use with some kind of super juice that Clemens and Petite were blasting into their asses that was just this side or the other of elephant steroids.Ihave to admit that I couldn’t reallypicture that sleazeballat stage-left of the TV screen this morning logging onto my little GH2000 ordering screen and going for the discount package of three bottles while his baseball supermen itched themselves behind him and tried to peek at it all for themselves on thewebsite. I figured that this ex-cop turned doping master criminal had contacts for the serious HGH. Dead corpse HGH. Some sort of inroad to the real juice of champions, that a guy like mecould only dream about but could never have the passwords needed toeven get in the same area code as this elixir of eternal youth and vigor.
Well, it turns out that what they’re talking about is exactly the same thing as I, and the other grandpas and grandmas, have been coughing up our Social Security funds for. There’s only the one HGH that exists. Different deliver systems, maybe, but just the one molecule, and it’s that same one that has been cleared over 3,000 times by government and science since it made its USdebut in 1978 through the labs of Genetech and Eli Lilly Inc.
So, I guess I do know a bit about all of this after all. In fact,I know a lot about this, apparently. All the data is online for anyone to see, and if you just allow my friends at Vitality Resources to guide you through a basic overview of the product itself:
- Oral Growth Hormone Research
- Ever Young GH 2000FAQ
- Studies
- Comparison with other Growth Hormone Products
you begin to realize that this isn’t the stuff of a cultural collapse of the Great American Pastime, unless what you’re referring to is all this garbage where Congress is running into walls over every littlefart that comes out of ex-Congressman Mitchell’s gnat-tight asshole. This “drug” – okay, so it’s not a drug, in fact all it does is trigger your body to release you own body’s cell repair chemicals before it disappears into your system in the time it takes to sneeze – is actually one of the cleanest supplementson the market today.In fact, your own body creates the exact same substance by itself, and if it didn’t you’d be dead in a week.
What HGH supplementation accomplishes, is that it increases the amount of HGH available to trigger the repair of your body, to the same levels you had when you were a bit younger. And that’s all it does.
It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t make you faster. It doesn’t make you bigger or more muscular – as steroids do. It doesn’t make you more aggressive or more competitive in a sporting contest.It certainly won’t help you fool abatter that has faced youdozens of times with the same 5 pitches that you’ve been making a living off for the last 20 years or so.
In fact, if you’re younger than 35 years old, it doesn’t do a damn thing for you at all. That would be due to the fact that as long as you’re a reasonably healthy adult, until you get into your mid-30’s, your body provides you with all the HGH that you need. From there on, however, Mother Nature makes the decision slowly run you off the playing field, and she does that by reducing you HGH levels.
Yes, that’s right. You age because nature programs your body to reduce the production of Human Growth Hormone, and eventually, you die of whatever it is that you die of (disease, senility, frailty, or just plain old age) because Mother Nature restricted your access to your own body’s HGH, andthe poor old bodwasn’t able to keep up with the needed repairs. Frankly, you die from a lack of HGH, when it all comes down to it.
Now,supplementing with HGHdoesn’t sound like the same problem you’d have if you juiced with steroids, now does it. The truth is that it’s not.
Another truth is that one shot of HGH (who are these people injecting HGH anymore? That’s so 30 years ago) from some trainer isn’t going to do a damn thing for you other than rid your walletof the cost of that shot – unless the meat went and “juiced” that shot with something else to “make you feel it”. Such as amphetamines or who knows what else a creep like that might add to a shot to make sure you come back for more. I know this, because I’ve been on this stuff since 1999, and one dose doesn’t do anything. It’s the cumulative effect of a structured HGH therapy that – within a span of time – reveals the benefit of the treatment. As they point out in the book,Resetting the Clock, copyright © by Elmer M. Cranton, M.D, and William Fryer:
“Benefits from HGH replacement are slow and gradual, taking 6 months or more to accrue. Increases in bone density with osteoporosis take 18 months. HGH is slow and subtle in its effect, but also gentle and safe. Those with more extreme deficiencies—with IGF-1 measured at 50 or less, as occurs in the very elderly—often experience faster and more profound benefits.”
Believe me, in a baseball player, the effects of HGH wouldn’t be worth the risk to the man’s career. Whatever those trainers are injecting those guys with, it’s not HGH.
This crap about Andy Petite having two or three HGH injections sounds like he got had by this snake-oil salesman that now is going for a tell-all book deal that he thinks he can rip out of the ass of one of baseball’s greatest pitchers. The science is solid on this stuff. One injection of HGH is worthless. So is three or four injections.You’d have to practically have a shunt installed in your ass to make that kind of treatment strategy work for you, and if Roger Clemens was actually on an injectable HGH replacement treatment program, if he didn’t know how to inject himself, and hide the needle tracks, he’d have to have that weasel tag around with him all the time and shoot him up twice daily for the entire span of time that he was on the program. They’d look like they were dating. Someone would’ve recalled that end of the whole episode. That’s for sure.
So, you monkeys in the media, and in the Congress, you can take this HGH scare crap and shove it elbow deep. This is more of the same kind of patheticlunacy that keeps your poll numbers in the cellar from year to year, while you scratch your empty heads over why it is that your value isn’t appreciated by the people you profess to serve.
I was reading somewhere that we have an Attorney General that can’t make up his mind if it’sokay to torture people. Then there was the one where the President is trying to get a law passed to protect big telecom companies likeVerizon and Sprint from being charged with complicity in the crimes that he and his henchmen committed against us – and from what I understand, are still committing against us right now. Then, we have that whole Obstruction of Justice issue involving the CIA and the Bush Administration, and their dealings with the 9/11 Commission. And all that illegal manufacturing of phoney intelligence stuff that dragged us into the worst foreign policy “debacle” of our nation’s history.
But you guys have time to pester Roger Clemens over slimeball allegations that he took legal HGH treatments from a guy that doesn’t even seem to understand how to administer the stuff?
And you wonder why your poll numbers are in the ditch?
Listen, The Hague called and they want to get with you guys about that whole CIA black sites thing, with the illegal rendition of foreign nationals and all that. You know what I mean. That dealwhere our guys have been kidnappingpeople off the streets of their own home nations without any warrantsor charges, and spiriting them away to secret gulags that we bought second hand off the KGB when they had that going-out-of-business sale, andour goonstorturing them untilthey realize that the sorry bastardshave nothing worth telling us, andthey either drop them off somewhere or we toss some charges together and keep them forever. Anyway, they say they’ve been trying to be patient, but history is drumming its fingers at them again, and they think it’s time to start looking into what we’re going to do about thesadistic freaks in the White House that have been ordering this whole “crimes against humanity” stuff to be carried out for the last half dozen years or so.
I told them you’d get back to them after you got done saving America’s youth again, and scoring Roger Clemens autographs “for you grandnephews”.
