I’m not a Liberal and I think they’re as idiotic as right wingers, but this email spam list is just begging for a bitch-slap. This goes out to the mook who crafted this abomination and the sheep who pass it along.
- You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
- You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
- You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding citizens are more of a threat than U.S. Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iran or Chinese and North Korean communists.
- You have to believe that there was no art before federal funding.
- You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
- You have to believe that gender roles are artificial, but being homosexual is natural.
- You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
- You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
- You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but PETA activists do.
- You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
- You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make “The Passion of the Christ” for financial gain only.
- You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
- You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
- You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
- You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag queens and transvestites should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
- You have to believe that more laws need to be passed to protect people from themselves, because people are too dumb to make their own choices.
- You have to believe that it is the government’s responsibility to solve people’s problems because people should not be held accountable or responsible for their mistakes.
- You have to believe that this list is a part of a vast, right-wing conspiracy.
I don’t want the govt killing me or directing the use of my body in any other way. Next thing you know, Larry Craig will be passing a law requiring me to take a wide stance in a men’s room for him. Stay outa my life and away from my body.
The govt is our only defense against companies that hide drug studies while selling useless drugs to us for years. (see recent Vytorin news)
Some asshat with a gun will more likely kill me than a Chinese nuke. We have MADD technology and they know it. They also know we’ll employ it. Assault rifles in the hands of Joe Lunchpail who lives across the street is some seriously scary shit.
The market place kills art, and has already done a good job of it. Being an artist is not the same as being a salesman, and even Mozart was funded by aristocracy (the government of his day), as were all the famous classical composers and painters. Nothing’s changed about that except that the average moron bitches about it instead of being grateful that someone cares about art enough to encourage it.
The hard data is in, and this statement is stupid. The big coal plants and the hundreds of millions of cars, trucks and buses, as well as all the factories around the world are to blame. Not some mom in an SUV, but then, that copy doesn’t have the same ironic implication, does it.
Gender roles aren’t artificial but they aren’t iron clad either. Simple thinking isn’t realistic thinking. The earth is older than 6,000 years too, and I can prove it. Sorry that you can’t think past bumper sticker slogans.
…or that AIDS can be better addressed through adequate federal funding? Maybe? Then again, I’m sure that the federal tax breaks and grants given to research on boner medicine was more urgently needed. Especially since the “boomer” males were beginning to come up a little flaccid as they hit middle age.
No, it’s best to let the parents ignore the whole notion of little Suzie taking a few mother loads from Billy and just let God have his will with her life. Then her mom and dad can blame the media for forcing her to spread her ignorant legs like that. Besides, it’s harder to learn how to read than it is to learn how to screw. Maybe not for Conservatives. I have heard that they generally suck in bed.
Try using the word “animals” instead of “nature”.
My brother-in-law and his wife own a black bear hunting lodge in Maine. They work all year to get the bears addicted to stale donuts and pastries. Then they drag these bloated businessmen from New Jersey out to the woods and sit them up in little perches above the place where they conditioned these bears to come for their sugar fix. Then they let these “hunters” shoot them as they show up for their daily meal. Then the guy gets his picture taken with the bear. Then they sell the bear off to a guy who supplies dog food companies with all kinds of things like that.
They schedule each “hunt” as a whole week with 20 guys like this, but it generally takes only a couple days. Then the guys generally take off to go gamble at the Indian reservation casino in CT. with the rest of their vacation from home and the family. Yeah, these hunters care a lot about nature and animals and stuff.
No, it’s always best to let the meanest, the strongest, and the best equipped have their way with the rest of us. Survival of the fittest is the best strategy for every form of life, unless it’s you that is the less fit. Then again, NO conservative is weak – right?
Mel Gibson is a mental case. How many times does he have to prove it before we finally take him at his word? Anyone that would spend 25 million bucks to make a Jesus snuff film is either someone who hates the whole notion of Jesus, or is someone who doesn’t realize that he hates the whole notion of Jesus. That movie was a celebration of Jesus being beaten and tortured. That’s just the worst premise I can imagine for a true Christian.
The ACLU even defends the NRA. It’s true. Look it up. They defend everyone. Even groups they find repugnant. They’d even defend your right to email this crap to people.
We have a multi-trillion dollar deficit. Apparently tax breaks aren’t paying for things. Neither is slashing domestic spending. Maybe if we didn’t spend a billion every two weeks on killing Iraqis? I don’t know.
No you don’t. That’s bullshit. It’s not even ironic. It’s just a stupid statement.
Liberals are the ones who brought us the standardized tests. What planet do you come from? Conservatives want all kids to go to privately owned schools, and to do away with public education. They aren’t even in the public education business. If the can’t make money off something, or force people to “come to Jesus” through something, then they aren’t interested.
Taking responsibility for your community is such a blasphemous concept. I agree though. I see the idea of ripping the heads off fat, pulpy capitalists and plundering their substantial holdings as being fair game as long as I’m capable of doing it. Then again, a true capitalist would agree that if I can get my posse together and kill his punk ass, then all’s fair in warfare.
Hey, maybe I agree with you here. Screw the social order.
I think that statues of Mohamed and L. Ron Hubbard should grace our school lobbies if manger scenes do. Buddha statues too. I like Buddha statues. They’re always happy. Not like those sad crucifixes with Jesus all bummed out and stuff.
Go up on YouTube for an afternoon and just browse. Then come back and rewrite this statement. Also, have you seen the new laws that your Bushies put into effect since seizing the reigns of power? Pot? Meet Kettle.
As in the huge airline bailout after 9/11? Ot the massive bailout of the Savings and Loan Industry of the late 80s? Or the enormous mulit-billion dollar bailout of Chrysler back in 1980? Or that whole Iraq “probem” that we seem to be on the hook for – forever? Or the subsidies still going to the Oil Industry, even though they’ve broken all profit records in recent years? Yeah, I agree with you, and so do a lot of Liberals.
A conspiracy to promote stupidity? Yeah. If you copied and pasted this sophomoric crap from an email, then that’s a conspiracy between you and the idiot that wrote it.
7 responses so far ↓
True Jersey Girl // February 4, 2008 at 2:17 pm |
Your responses are dead on. Awesome job.
Joe Cascio // February 4, 2008 at 6:11 pm |
Great job! I share your outrage with this continuous drumming on The Big Lie. Hmmm, I may email this to a few hundred people.
Nor'Easter // February 5, 2008 at 11:38 am |
Hey thanks, you guys. You’d think they’d be all done spamming this kind of 1992 vintage crap around but those old hits keep on coming. It’s worse on the AOL forums. I don’t know what the deal is with AOL, but it sure attracted the crazies. Here’s to a brighter future where people think for themselves.
rickswords // February 5, 2008 at 11:50 am |
Thanks
I don’t know if this will result in two comments, but I wanted to make sure I thanked you two for your good words. I’d like to think that the bumpersticker politics is coming to an end, but I still see these kind of retarded emails coming in all the time. It’s good to hear from a couple of folks who have a clear view of the truth about how hard the real business of serving a whole nation’s needs is, and how useless it is to turn the whole effort into slogans and talking points.
Darren // February 18, 2008 at 11:31 am |
Talk about slogan answers! I guess left wing slogan answers are some how better than right wing slogan answers.
1. No … just babies!
2. The government screws up just about everything it gets involved with.
3. If he is a “joe Lunchpail,” he would probably use it to save your worthless butt. If he was a criminal … the gun would already be illegal.
4. A picture of the Virgin Mary covered in feces and condoms in not art.
5. I am sure coal burning and mom’s SUV don’t help, but the facts are in … global warming and cooling is cyclic.
6. Gender roles are moot.
7. The government already has spent billions of dollars on aids research.
8. If Suzie takes a few mother loads from Billy, it is exactly mommie’s and daddie’s fault, not God’s fault nor the school’s business.
9. Your description of your brother-in-laws version hunting would make real hunters sick!
10. Self-esteem does not care about race, politics, Darwin, or opinions, but it must be learned.
11. Calling the Passion of Christ a snuff film is shallow, condescending and insensitive.
12. The ACLU bilks the government trying nonsense cases over non-issues.
13. Far better to let terrorists blow us up … then we don’t have to worry about deficits or ATMs
14. Damn … I agree with you on that one!
15. Conservatives want parents and kids to have a choice in schools.
16. Even socialist countries have learned socialism doesn’t work … look up Sweden.
17. American “inalienable rights” don’t stem from Buddah, Mohammad, or L. Ron Hubbard.
18. I think we should ban all safety warning labels and let nature take its course.
19. Damn it … we agree again!
20. See my take on #18.
Some day, when you get done patting yourselves on your collective elitist backs, you will be able to step out of the ivory tower and into the real world!
Nor'Easter // February 18, 2008 at 1:32 pm |
1. No … just babies!
I don’t care who they say they’re protecting. I want them to stay the hell away from me. Period.
2. The government screws up just about everything it gets involved with.
Ever visit a upper management staff meeting in corporate America? You wouldn’t think those freaks were the saviors of America if you ever did. Corporate is where the folks who are too psychopathic to even clear government hiring safe checks go to feed on souls and destroy the lives of average folks like you and me.
3. If he is a “joe Lunchpail,” he would probably use it to save your worthless butt. If he was a criminal … the gun would already be illegal.
I lost my first wife to a gun that was too readily accessible. Don’t bother preaching to me about this crap. You can’t save me, so forget it.
4. A picture of the Virgin Mary covered in feces and condoms in not art.
Nice strawman you got there. Got any Chicago Welfare Queens tucked up your sleeve? Can you do anything other than cough up cliches?
5. I am sure coal burning and mom’s SUV don’t help, but the facts are in … global warming and cooling is cyclic.
That’s true, but cycles have a regular rise and fall. Normal cycles are evenly structured. Scientists get scared when a “cycle” comes along that doesn’t fit that normal cyclical structure. Like this global warming cycle we’re dealing with. It’s way too abrupt to be a normal cycle. Besides, what’s a nature loving conservative like yourself got against being good to the earth anyway? You got stock in Big Oil or Big Coal? Those folks hate your guts and steal from you all the time when you got to gas up. Why defend them like that? Because Rush tells you to, after they tell him to tell you to?
6. Gender roles are moot.
I don’t care about that or what some guy wants to do with some other guy. Just so long as both of them leave me be and don’t do it in traffic when I’m trying to get to work in the morning. The commute is bad enough as it is.
7. The government already has spent billions of dollars on aids research.
So? It’s already pissed away hundreds of billions on that dust storm going on in Iraq, too. And that isn’t getting any better either. And that bridge to nowhere. And that War on Terror that isn’t accomplishing a damn thing (see my piece on America’s Suicide Bombers for details). So, what’s wrong with investing in medical research? The space program gave us IC chip technology. Who knows what the AIDS research could uncover for diseases like cancer and auto-immune diseases like Parkinson’s Disease? All breakthroughs are valuable, and you never know where they’ll lead.
8. If Suzie takes a few mother loads from Billy, it is exactly mommie’s and daddie’s fault, not God’s fault nor the school’s business.
If mom and dad won’t bother to give Suzie and Billy a heads up, the someone should. They don’t give the kids a heads up in N. Hampshire schools, where I used to live, and they have to run a daycare center at the high school to give the girls the option to come back and finish school after having their babies. It’s a mess.
9. Your description of your brother-in-laws version hunting would make real hunters sick!
And yet, they do a good business up there. Plenty of booking all hunting season. He’s thinking of opening up another one and hiring staff to run it. Those heroes pay plenty to get their photo taken with “their bear”.
10. Self-esteem does not care about race, politics, Darwin, or opinions, but it must be learned.
Y’know why there have been so many school rampages over recent years? It’s because bullies are allowed to crush the self-esteems of the kids who finally get fed up and bring their dad’s gun collection in for a little show and tell. Look it up. A culture of “law of the jungle” ends up with people acting like animals. People need the chance to get their bearings in life before some asshole puts his heel on their neck. If not, that heel, and the leg it’s attached to, will get ripped off and stuffed right up the ass it was once anchored to. Like the car repair commercial says, “Pay me now or pay me later.” We end up paying anyway.
11. Calling the Passion of Christ a snuff film is shallow, condescending and insensitive.
Are you kidding? My passion for Christ doesn’t involve watching him be beaten for 160 minutes in slo-mo until finally nailed to a plank and left to die. I think we all know what happened back then, but we don’t need to be getting all worked up sticking out fingers in the open wounds. I don’t mind a good grisly CSI episode, but not with Jesus as the corpse being torn apart in close-up. That’s just disrespectful.
12. The ACLU bilks the government trying nonsense cases over non-issues.
They don’t bilk anyone. They don’t charge the government. Most of the time they don’t sue the government either. They sue to prevent all groups from being denied their rights. Like the 2nd Amendment cases they take on. And the 1st Amendment cases they take on. All of them. They go after corporations and unions, and just about anyone who tries to bulldoze the average American with illegal violations of their civil rights. Some Conservative you are. I’m more conservative than you seem to be.
13. Far better to let terrorists blow us up … then we don’t have to worry about deficits or ATMs
If the Iraqis finally get their country back from us and the Big Oil folks who tell us when to jump and how high, do you really think they’ll all pile into boats and planes and invade us? If we pulled out troops out of that mess, do you really believe that it will “free up” the terrorists to come and sneak around our cities and attack us? What kind of morons do you take Al Qaeda for? What kind of morons do you take us for? That foolishness in Iraq has NOTHING to do with any terror cells that may or may not exist here in this country, or in Europe or in Asia or Africa, or anywhere else. Wake up!!! You’re sounding like a little kid who still believes in hiding under blankets to keep the bad men away. Your argument makes no sense at all.
14. Damn … I agree with you on that one!
Well, I might better rethink that one then.
15. Conservatives want parents and kids to have a choice in schools.
It’s not a choice if you can’t afford to send your kids to those schools. IOt’s also not a choice if those schools have either a religious or corporate agenda that you don’t want your kid exposed to. NH doesn’t mandate anything for its schools, and only pays for them by property taxes. Each town gets to decide how much gets granted to their own schools. As a result, one town might have a great school (like Amherst) and the next town to it will have crap, and a ridiculous dropout rate (like Rochester). They don’t even provide kindergarten, and you have to pay for it. They will hold your kid back in 1st grade if he/she isn’t “ready” for 2nd grade. Funny, all the kids whose parents couldn’t afford the pay private kindergarten, end up graduating at 19, if they graduate at all. Yeah…nice system. Full choice for the folks who can afford it, and no choice for the folks who can’t.
16. Even socialist countries have learned socialism doesn’t work … look up Sweden.
Like I said, what’s good for the goose…and all that. Maybe it’s time to start tearing pieces of the American dream out of the asses of the top 10 percent. Let them pay for their security….that is if they really think they’ll be able to trust it. After all, security guards are some of the lowest paid smudges in our society. Ever see “Fight Club”? I got no problem with straight up get what you can. I’d do pretty friggin’ good for myself if we went for it like that.
17. American “inalienable rights” don’t stem from Buddah, Mohammad, or L. Ron Hubbard.
All religious thought comes from Hermeticism. Christian, Buddhist, Islamic, Hebrew, Shinto, Hindu. All of them come from this one lone concept. So Christianity has no lock on any of it. It’s all based on the writings attributed to Hermes Trismegistus, and the whole God, spiritual, eternal life, soul idea that this legendary writer came up with. Yea, I’m a bit of a student of comparative theology, so I’m not exactly talking out of my ass here. My point is that Christianity has sources, and they are the same as every other major religion’s sources. Well…..except that fruitcake stuff that Tom Cruise and the other idiots like him run around making fools out of themselves believing. That stuff is just science fiction garbage.
18. I think we should ban all safety warning labels and let nature take its course.
Okay, but I’m not cleaning up the mess.
19. Damn it … we agree again!
crap….let me take a look at that one too.
20. See my take on #18.
**Some day, when you get done patting yourselves on your collective elitist backs, you will be able to step out of the ivory tower and into the real world!
Ivory tower? ha! Good one. Hey, maybe I am an elite something or other, but so far, no ivory towers. I do have a 2nd floor now, though. That’s a step up……so to speak.
Good chatting with you. Stop by again when you feel like yelling at someone. I’ll be here.
Good chatting with you. Stop by again when you feel like yelling at someone. I’ll be here.
Trailblazer // April 13, 2009 at 2:01 pm |
Dammm none of these liberal responses make any sense… They fail to see the big picture.
And as for the head nodders, read it a few times and you will realize the logic is absurd.
I will respond to a few.
for example -
1-You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
I don’t want the govt killing me or directing the use of my body in any other way. Next thing you know, Larry Craig will be passing a law requiring me to take a wide stance in a men’s room for him. Stay outa my life and away from my body.
Idiot, you would be on death row if you didn’t perpitrate some henious crime, also use your body however you want, but have the brains to use contraceptions first.
2 – More ignorant stuff.
“Some asshat with a gun will more likely kill me than a Chinese nuke. We have MADD technology and they know it. They also know we’ll employ it. Assault rifles in the hands of Joe Lunchpail who lives across the street is some seriously scary shit.”
You are more likly to die from your misfilled prescription, Doctors diagnosis, lightening, shark attack, airline crash, motorvehicle accident. Put things in perspective, also you failed to note the “law abiding citizens” yeah I’m sure many law abiding citicent want to take you out. By the way, its almost impossible for law abiding citicens to get assault rifles. (an AK47 without full auto is not an assault rifle. Its no different from any other semi auto rifle.)
You may think the Govt is able to protect you, but i dont want to put my last line of defence in someone elses hands.
If you thinnk that the US is immune from a nuclear attack then you are an even bigger idiot then you sound.
3-”You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical changes in the earth’s climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV’s.
The hard data is in, and this statement is stupid. The big coal plants and the hundreds of millions of cars, trucks and buses, as well as all the factories around the world are to blame. Not some mom in an SUV, but then, that copy doesn’t have the same ironic implication, does it.”
Boy you really didnt understand this one did you.. hell if we ever had the misfortune to meet, I would explain it to you….
4-You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
No, it’s best to let the parents ignore the whole notion of little Suzie taking a few mother loads from Billy and just let God have his will with her life. Then her mom and dad can blame the media for forcing her to spread her ignorant legs like that. Besides, it’s harder to learn how to read than it is to learn how to screw. Maybe not for Conservatives. I have heard that they generally suck in bed.
WHAT……. stand up, your voice is muffled….
5-You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
We have a multi-trillion dollar deficit. Apparently tax breaks aren’t paying for things. Neither is slashing domestic spending. Maybe if we didn’t spend a billion every two weeks on killing Iraqis? I don’t know.
Your respons has nothing to do with taxes compaired to ATM fees – let me spell it out – I have a choice with ATM fees ( I just dont use them) I dont use half the things my taxes pay for, but I dont have a choice.
6- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
No you don’t. That’s bullshit. It’s not even ironic. It’s just a stupid statement.
Direct from the liberal playbook. When you dont have an intelligent answer, attack……
7- You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
Liberals are the ones who brought us the standardized tests. What planet do you come from? Conservatives want all kids to go to privately owned schools, and to do away with public education. They aren’t even in the public education business. If the can’t make money off something, or force people to “come to Jesus” through something, then they aren’t interested.
Public education is a failure.. much like public housing – Hell pay for your own kids education…
I could go on for hours……